What if DOGE Came for the NFL?
This is what it looks likes like when DOGE takes on a new task.
We know what DOGE is doing to the government. But why stop there? What if they got loose on another part of U.S. society, professional sports? Here’s a picture of what that could look like.
June 2026
June 30.
New Trump Order: DOGE to Fix Football (NY Times)
Trump on Truth Social:
“Too long have Woke elites Subverted football. the greatest Sport ever Seen. BLOAT and WASTE are EVERYWHERE. We will Fix the NFL and make it Forever American again. USA! USA!”
Trump Will Make Football Great Again. (Fox)
July 2026
July 4.
Musk tweet:
“Disgusting bloat. Only 11 NFL players can be on the field. But teams have 53. INSANE WASTE!”
July 10
Musk tweet:
“NFL kickers play only 3-5 minutes a game but get $860,00 a year. CAN THIS BE RIGHT???? Must be DEI. Time to Boot Out the kickers!”
DOGE Lays Off 80% of NFL Players, Claims Savings of Billions. (Wall Street Journal).
August 2026
Aug. 15. Trump on Truth Social:
“Woke Football team OWNERS are Wasting America’s LAND, our most Precious RESOURCE. There are only 17 Games per Season. Stadiums used by CARTELS the other 348 Days. THIS MUST STOP NOW!”
Aug. 20.
NFL Outdoor Stadiums to be Used at No Cost for Space-X Launches Between Games (Wall St. Journal).
Trump on Truth Social:
UnAmerican Traitor Taylor Swift and her boyfriend “tight end” have no PLACE in AMERICAN football. Fire them NOW OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!
Of course, no one would act that irresponsibly in the real world, would they?